It's something I don't often talk about around here, my faith. But I'm realizing that's a problem. It defines my life. Defines who I am. I'll start by saying that I believe in the Living God. One and only. He has drastically changed every aspect of my life, led my way, and shown me an incredible satisfaction in who I am, where I am and what I have. Something that doesn't quite fit in to a fashion blog. Coming back from my recent trip to Uganda, I've struggled in every way imaginable. Missing the people. Missing the country. Missing the incredible passion for a spirit-filled life that just doesn't exist in America. And it's all bringing me to the conclusion that my heart is changed and I'll never be the same. Ever.
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My days are spent like never before. My desires are almost backward. And I crave the same for every person that I love. For every person that I see. God is incredible. God is good. And God has a spectacular plan. When I left Uganda, I knew I was going back. Not when or how, but I knew. After only being back for a month, I'm already on track to go back and the Lord has confirmed this path for me over and over.
All that being said, I came to the realization a few nights ago that I will most likely be poor(financially) and somewhat homeless for the rest of my life. Whether here, in Africa, or wherever else God leads, my heart is in missions and I can't imagine anything holding me back from that. And guess what. It costs a lot. I've stated before that I've never had a boyfriend/relationship and I now know that it's because I was created for something more. If I have that, I'll find it in a man with a heart for missions as well. My desire isn't for a husband who provides financially, but spiritually.
I know this is probably starting to feel like my own personal journal, but bare with me. This is ALL to say that I've changed and so has my blog. This isn't a fashion blog any longer. Sure, I'd love to share clothes and fun ideas from time to time. But the focus is now on who I really am. Who I really love. What I really care about. I hope you'll stay along for the ride!
xo, Bruklyn
In my last few posts, I've talked a lot about "big changes". New job, vacation, kitten... honestly, I don't know what these BIG changes really were. I suppose they were all a first step to a truly big change. A life-altering trip to Uganda.
There is not an ounce of me that can truly describe what I experienced there. When people ask about the trip, I'm instantly overwhelmed with answers and emotions. The impact made on my life over a short two weeks couldn't be measured. Things that were once important have no pull on me. Hopes and dreams are gone. My heart wants nothing more than to be back there, but I'm learning to be content right here. Honestly, I'm struggling.
I look through these photos 15 times a day. I've got them framed, printed for an album, on my computer... there are TONS. I've become useless to the world! I think going back to work this week will help me re-assimilate myself, but I'm not sure I want to lose the feeling. I don't want to forget the people or the places. The lives. I know this isn't uncommon. People struggle with it daily. People in the group I went with are in the very same place. But what does one do? How do I maintain a balance of happiness here and my desire to go back? I need prayer, guys! I miss these faces...
